what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
