IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This house was built for laser tag.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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