Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
mondays should just be called national damage control day
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
