You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
two words: eviction party
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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