If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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