i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
