More tranny stories later!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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