You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are the jesus of drinking
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
