You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
