so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
