I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You ruined the universe
Randomize
