how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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