These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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