There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
