Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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