I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
