A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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