I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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