apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
