I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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