Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
