Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
