I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
