Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
