We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
