i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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