It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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