Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
