no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
