So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
