love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
