My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
being pregnant is like rehab
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
