is your mom at the bar?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
