Kiss
Puke
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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