Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
