Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
