You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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