so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
