everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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