so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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