I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
