Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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