So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
