To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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