Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
