he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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