I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
