bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
