nut hugger
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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