I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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