last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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