PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
