Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
