Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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