I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
